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From the Skewed News Syndicate

Peter Pinkley's startling vision of the future:

"Mark my words! I predict that in the very near future, 82% of American males will have their hair styled exactly like Bobby Goldsboro."

Whoever tutored President and Mrs. Obama about proper etiquette in the presence of the Queen of England did not mention her sensitivity about her height (or lack thereof). Just after this photo was taken, Mr. Obama playfully patted the top of the Queen's head and said, "Hello down there, little lady!"

Michelle Obama began to giggle quietly, and then uncontrollably, and the Queen became visibly upset. She swung at Mr. Obama's head (which was out of reach for her), and then pummeled his stomach repeatedly with short jabs. The president retained his smile throughout, but the first lady seemed quite chagrined.

Foreign policy experts fear that the unfortunate encounter may set back U.S./British relations to what they were during the Revolutionary War.

(Thomas P. Warneski reporting, Skewed News Syndicate)